Tolerate, as I have tolerated you

Jesus is not nice.

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword." (Matt 10:34)

It's no accident that C.S. Lewis used a lion to represent Christ.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you." (C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)

I'm frustrated by how soft the western world (and that's a good portion of the Christian western world, too) has grown to become. Oh I better not say that, otherwise I might hurt their feelings. Oh I better not fail him even though he didn't meet the criteria. Oh I better not tell her she dresses inappropriately because I don't want to embarrass her.

Further, the great fight over equality. Equality of gender. Equality of life stage. Equality of sexuality. There's a great deal of difference between being treated equally and being treated justly. I don't think we want equality to be what we fight for, do you?

What ever happened to telling the truth? What ever happened to accountability? As Nathan explained last week on the meaning of love - is not speaking the truth and accountability the most loving thing - the best thing for them? Would it not be most loving to foster an environment of honesty, to call our brothers and sisters on, to open their eyes to opportunities for growth?

I acknowledge that there are times when our opinions are best kept to ourselves, but I'm talking about the truth here. Tell him that his Maths just does not scrub up and he should think about getting a tutor. Tell her that the way she dresses is leading men astray and speak into her heart that she is a treasure to be discovered. Tell him that the music he is listening to is destroying his soul. Tell her that she needs to pull her finger out and start praying every day again. This means saying the hard stuff.

Jesus was not afraid to show or tell people when they were doing wrong, so why should we?

"He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves, as well as the money-changers seated there. He made a whip out of cords and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen, and spilled the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables, and to those who sold doves He said, 'Take these out of here, and stop making my Father’s house a marketplace'." (John 2:14-16)

Jesus was not fighting against them. He was fighting for them. His actions were clearly premeditated ("He made a whip out of chords"). It was not a momentary burst of fury. No, Jesus was calling His brothers and sisters on and His message was loud and clear.

I say goodbye to tolerance, indifference, apathy and being lukewarm and hello to accountability, challenging others and loving the heck out of our brothers and sisters. Will you join me in fighting for them?

God bless,

Michaela

Love is when Mummy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross

Flowing on from last week's post, one of the comments that many people make when talking about same-sex marriage is that it should become lawful because if two people love each other, they should have the right to marry. This begs the question, what exactly is love anyway? Theology student, Nathan Costin, has a thing or two to say.

Guest Blogger: Nathan Costin

Youth Coordinator of the Brisbane East Deanery
and theology student at Australian Catholic University

Nathan Costin

Flo Rida’s song, “Let it Roll” has been stuck in my head the past few days, particularly the prelude to the chorus, “Love is nice when it’s understood, even nicer when it makes you feel good.” As I was driving and the song popped into my head yet again I asked myself, do I agree with Flo making a catchy beat? Yes. Do I agree with Tramar Dillard using the alias Flo Rida? Yes. Do I agree with Flo’s view of love in this song? No.

“Love”, as Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI stated in Deus Caritas Est, “has become one of the most frequently used and misused words, a word to which we attach quite different meanings”. Love has almost become an excuse to justify a multitude of conflicting decisions and actions - particularly in relationships. Take this example:

I know of a couple who, when they were in high school, after three weeks of dating each other, decided to skip a day of school, book a motel and have sex. “Love”, the guy told me, was the reason they did it. “We love each other and I wanted to take it to the next level.” Love had somehow pushed the couple to skip school, race off to a motel and have sex.

I myself recently got engaged. My fiancée and I have not had sex, nor do we plan to until our wedding night. We identified how love is communicated and shared in a vast variety of different ways. We committed to growing and learning to perfect this language of love before giving it the eternal stamp with our bodies in marriage. How we understand love has called us to save sex.

Nathan & fiancée Jen

So here we have that word ‘love’ used as the reason to have sex, and also used as the reason to not have sex. They can’t both be love. So which is it?

Flo Rida says love is nicest when it makes you feel good. I disagree. I think love is nicest when it’s understood. St Thomas Aquinas and the Catechism of the Catholic Church offer a rarely heard definition of love: “To love is to will the good of another” (CCC 1766).

Huh? I can actually will love? Yes! Love places the good of the other over and above what makes us feel good. It is completely other-centered. Love looks at what is best for someone then does everything in its power to bring about that good. And yes, this often involves renunciation and sacrifice of our own desires especially when they are contrary to what is truly best for our beloved. This way we are in control of love, we are held responsible. What is ‘loving’ can now have a moral value put on it.

Love is not just an emotion. Can something imposed on us actually be love?

The self-sacrificial love of Jesus is often upheld as the ultimate example of love. But how did this love begin? With a free choice. In the garden, Jesus clearly doesn’t feel like being crucified (Mt 26:39), but He flexes His will. He shows us that love is something we can choose above feelings no matter how intense or overwhelming. Love, when understood as an act of the will, empowers us to witness to, and to actively participate in love. Emotions are nice, but understanding that we are not slaves to them and can choose above feelings with intellect and will is even better. We are free to love. And being able to love freely is much more satisfying than being slaves to our feelings.

Rather than feeling good, love is nicest when it’s understood.

Some good sources and books on LOVE:

• Deus Caritas Est (On Christian Love) – Pope Benedict XVI 
• Love and Responsibility – Karol Wojtyla 
• Men, Women and the Mystery of Love – Dr. Edward Sri 
• The Love that Satisfies – Christopher West 
• Called to Love – Carl Anderson & Jose Grandos 
• Pure Love – Jason Evert 
• If You Really Loved Me – Jason Evert 
• Sex is not the Problem, Lust is – Joshua Harris

God bless,

Michaela

Myth: Catholics hate homosexuals

I don't know where the idea came from that the Catholic Church hates homosexuals. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation - it's a part of a person's identity. The Lord has called us to "Love one another as I have loved you" (John 13:34). We are called to love all who God has created, how God has created them.

"With love for mankind and hatred of sins" - St. Augustine

A person's sexual orientation or same-sex attractions are not sinful. It is the sexual act between two men or two women, just as any sexual act outside of marriage, that is sinful.

"Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2357)

Scriptural references: 

• Gen 19:1-29
• Lev 18: 22
• Rom 1:24-27
• 1 Cor 6:9-10
• 1 Tim 1:8-11

"The term 'objective disorder' may strike some of us with same-sex attractions as being harsh, because we feel that we never asked to have homosexual attractions and we fear that this term is in some way condemnatory or derogatory. It is important to remember that "objective disorder" is a philosophical term which describes a particular inclination - it does not diminish our value and worth in the eyes of God." (Courage 2013)

What does the Cathechism mean by "contrary to the natural law"? The fourfold vow of marriage is that by marriage and in sexual union you give yourself to someone freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully (Lifeteen 2012). Same gender couples are unable to procreate, therefore they cannot fully give themselves to another person.

"Sex is ordered towards two things: bonding the couple and bringing forth life. There is only one context in which this is possible: in the marriage of one man and one woman. If there is no marriage, there is often no sense of true commitment and the bonding of the couple is weak. If both genders are not represented, the possibility of life is thwarted. Anything that directly violates either the bonding or the possibility of life is a disordered use of the sexual act (as well as use of the other person)." (University of Minnesota Duluth 2010)

The Church recognises the sensitivity of this topic and that the correct response is to love unconditionally.

"The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2358)

Further reading:

• Chastity.com
• Catholics Care about Gays? The Myth Debunked
• Courage

God bless,

Michaela

What? You're Christian AND Catholic?!

It was early 2008 and I sat in a room surrounded by Protestants fighting over who would at World Youth Day in Sydney be the one to show (at the time) Pope Benedict XVI the truth and have him invite Jesus to be his Lord and Saviour.

Being the only Catholic in the room, I must admit, it felt a little like this:

©20th Century Fox

It was the second time I'd ever heard of such a statement - the first time I heard it, I laughed unashamedly thinking it was a joke. It seemed like such a ludicrous statement, because in my mind Jesus already was my Lord and Saviour.

Ironic that His Holiness Benedict XVI should say such a thing as this, two years prior to my previously mentioned encounter?:

"Our knowledge of Jesus needs above all a first-hand experience: someone else's testimony is of course important, for normally the whole of our Christian life begins with the proclamation handed down to us by one or more witnesses. However, we ourselves must then be personally involved in a close and deep relationship with Jesus." (General Audience, October 4, 2006)

To be Christian means to believe in and follow Jesus Christ. Most of the people I surround myself with are Catholic and I can assure you that they believe in and follow Jesus Christ. My Protestant peers were clearly misinformed.

Spread the word - to be Catholic means to be Christian.


For further information, hear Douglas Bushman on Catholic Answers.

God bless,

Michaela

The undesirables

I don't recall it ever saying in the Bible to only love the desirable and popular. Actually, I'm pretty sure Jesus said the exact opposite: the lowly, the poor, those on the outskirts, the unclean, those whose sins everyone knows about...

I'm going to take a leaf out of Pope Francis' book and get a bit annoying here - a bit uncomfortable. If you start to feel hot around the collar, take this as a hint from the Lord to take a long, hard look at yourself.

I hear it being preached about all the time at youth events: love thy neighbour, love the least of these, befriend that loner at school. In fact, I hear it being preached by people who I have personally witnessed doing the exact opposite. People who, in a public setting, have outright badmouthed others and projected their distaste of a person on the rest of the on-listeners.

Words can be poisonous- bad words about another person in particular. I cannot count the amount of times where I have heard someone speak poorly of another and how my perception towards that person has changed. Suddenly I notice that annoying habit, bad breath or their daggy clothes.

I come from a background of being subject to schoolyard bullying. What the experience has taught me, among many things, is how it feels to be an outcast.

Can you imagine, that for a reason unbeknownst to you, you are a reject, a loser, an outcast? That everyone around you has shunned you and you try desperately, oh so desperately to find someone, anyone who can validate your worth and show you love? Every day you face, you face alone. You belong nowhere. You miss out on invites to parties. People fall silent when you enter a conversation. They avoid your eye contact in fear that you will strike a conversation with them and they will be stuck talking to you and someone may see. So, you take advantage of the checkout lady who routinely says "hi, how are you today?" You quickly invite yourself to any Facebook event that was accidently left on "public" before the creator realises and changes it to "private". You cling to anyone who takes pity.

Can you imagine this life?

Now perhaps it is a perception problem - nasty rumours that led people to believe that you're not the type of person they want around them. Perhaps there is something particularly confronting or irritating about your personality that others cannot seem to get past in order to spend enough time with you to appreciate the person that you are. Perhaps you are a bit socially awkward and people just don't know what to say or how to hold a conversation with you.

Whatever the reason, being treated as an outcast is unacceptable. It is contrary to what we have been commissioned by God to do. We go on and on about sharing the love of Jesus, preaching the Gospel message, and evangelising the world. But what about the world we live in? Our local parish community, our youth group, our wider group of friends? Do these people not need the love of Jesus, just because they're already "coming to stuff"?

Why do you think they come in the first place? Because Christians will at the very least give them a friendly smile or humour them by a polite "hey, how are ya?" before quickly wrapping up the conversation and moving on. That sliver of love is more than the rest of society will give them, so of course they keep coming back. Let me ask you this: when was the last time you greeted them with a genuine, "HEY!! You're here! Awesome. So, how are you? What's going on in your life?"

Now think for a moment about those "undesirables" - list them off in your head. Picture their faces. You cannot deny they exist. Take a moment to do so now.

If you are reading this sentence without having done so, this is your second and final chance - if you don't, you may as well not even bother to read the rest of this post because you're not ready to be the person Jesus has called you to be.

Step One: Ask yourself why they are considered (in your eyes) to be undesirable
Step Two: Try to imagine life from their perspective
Step Three: Think of one positive thing about them

It takes 30 days to break a habit. Your challenge is to think about one positive thing about these people every day for 30 days. If you run out of things, it means you don't know them well enough - so go and get to know them! I will admit that as I write this, in my head I am thinking, "dangit, now I have to do it too." I guess it's not called a challenge for nothing.

If everyone started to do this: welcoming and befriending the undesirable, then no one would be undesirable in the first place. True, all would still be different and some easier to get along than others, but all the same, you would be free to love and be Jesus to all without fear of rejection by association. The newbie who didn't know that the person was undesirable would not get "caught" in a conversation for forty-five minutes. There would no longer be hushed voices about the post-Mass Maccas run.

Remember this: there is nothing wrong with the undesirable. There is only something wrong with the person who sees them as undesirable.

God bless,

Michaela

Am I not beautiful as I am?

See this picture here:

It was taken at my friend's wedding in 2011. I have received multiple comments on the way that I looked that day, most often accompanied with a look of surprise and awe on the commenter's face.

You see, on a regular day I do not wear make up. I'm not the most punctual person, so I rarely take the time to stop and look at myself in the mirror to make sure my outfit matches before I leave the house. My hair is the last thing I do as I dash out the door. What I'm trying to say is that this picture does not capture me in my most natural form, but as an "enhanced" me. It is for this reason that I hate this photo.

Comments about it genuinely upset me because whilst they might be saying "wow - you look stunning", what I hear them saying is "if only you looked after yourself a bit more, you could be really beautiful." Am I not beautiful as I am?

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)

The thing is, I know already that I am beautiful. I know it because God created me that way - just like how He created everyone else that way too. It is not vanity - to deny is would be to deny what God has created.

"God saw all that He had made, and it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)

I refuse to lead the world to believe that the "enhanced" Michaela is the real Michaela. I don't want to marry some guy one day and for him to wake up the next morning and think "holy crap. What did I marry?" I want to show the world me, as I am, always. I want to show the world that there is beauty beneath the fading beauty of youth.

Clearly the problem I have is not with myself but with the world. The world says that women must look beautiful. I say women should be beautiful. Looking beautiful comes from money spent in beauty salons and time in front of the mirror and buying into fads of magazines. Being beautiful comes from within; from loving, nurturing and serving.

©Michaela Hillam 2013

Here's some reading material on how to be beautiful and reflect the beauty of God:

• catholicyoungwoman.blogspot
• catholic.org
• catholicculture.org
• Archbishop Fulton Sheen's The World's First Love
• Karen Doyle's The Genius of Womanhood
• JPII's Letter to Women
• JPII's Apostolic Letter Mulieris Dignitatem on the Dignity of Vocation of Women

So maybe I don't fit the mould of beauty in the eyes of the world, for my thighs will always be a bit more muscly than the average woman, I'm pre-disposed to tuckshop lady arms and one day I will be an old woman with wrinkles, sunspots, saggy skin and grey hair. I'll probably smell funny too. But in the end I know all will be well because I will have spent my life striving not to look beautiful but to be beautiful.

God bless,

Michaela

On the ordination of women

My Uncle said that one day I'll be Pope. I'd like to remind you at this point that I am female. He was joking of course, but unfortunately there are many people out there who would have taken his proclamation quite seriously and encouraged me to show the world that women can do anything. These people are misinformed.

Since Pope Francis' inauguration in March, I have encountered as many as five different people wonder aloud if the Church will now allow the ordination of women. I find the idea personally offensive.

First, I know my place as a woman in the Church and it is certainly not behind any altar.

Second, is the Pope Catholic, people??! It's not like political party voting based on differing policies. Pope Francis is not going to go 'round changing Canon Law because he disagrees with the multitude of Popes gone before him (or Christ Himself) just for the sake of "getting with the times" or pleasing secular society or trying to find "the answer to diminishing numbers of Australian priests" (which, I'll have you know is actually an additional myth, as many seminaries around the country are currently overflowing with young men).

Third, all you have to do is open your Bible and read it plain and clear:

"In these days He went out into the hills to pray; and all night He continued in prayer to God. And when it was day, He called His disciples, and chose from them twelve, whom He names apostles. Simon, whom He named Peter, and Andrew his brother, and James and John, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon who was called the Zealot, and Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became the traitor." (Luke 6:12-16)

Of these, not one was female, though Jesus had many female disciples. Pope John Paul II's Apostolic letter, Ordinatio Sacerdotalis (1994) spoke definitively upon this saying that based upon Christ's original ordination of the apostles,

"The Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women."

Christ was not subject to social or political persuasions of the time. He is God: He is outside of time. Jesus commissioned it so and we as a church must not doubt His reasons for it.

Fourth, as my Dad says, having a license to drive is not a right but a responsibility. The same can be applied here:

"No one has a right to receive the sacrament of Holy Orders. Indeed no one claims this office for himself." (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1578)

Further,

"One does not take the honor upon himself, but he is called by God, just as Aaron was." (Hebrews 5:4)

If this still isn't convincing enough for you, have you ever thought about what a priest is referred to as? I'll give you a hint. It's another word for Papa. As the Church is the bride, Christ is the bridegroom and our priests are representatives of Christ (see Pius XII, enc. Mediator Dei; and the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica). How could a woman possibly fill this role as husband?

No, as a woman, what I have to offer the life of the church is entirely different: a deeply personal relationship with God. Or as Papal Theologian, Fr. Wojciech Giertvch so eloquently put it,

"To convince the male that power is not most important in the church, not even sacramental power. What is most important is the encounter with the living God through faith and charity. So women don't need the priesthood because their mission is so beautiful in the church anyway."

I'll admit I am no theologian. I have no formal qualifications in study of scripture. Please excuse me if I am not 100% on anything that I've proclaimed to be truth. Know, however, that I did my research using reliable sources. Feel free to correct me or lead me in the right direction for further study resources via the comment box.

Having said this, I am not writing for me. I am writing for you. Get motivated and get informed about the truths of our Church! For further reading on this topic, see Why Not Catholicism and Pope John Paul II's Ordinatio Sacerdotalis.

God bless,

Michaela